I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
