Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
