all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
