I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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