My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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