can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
