When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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