Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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