Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think my moral compass just broke
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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