What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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