HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Can I color on your dick again?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
