They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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