This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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