hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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