haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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