does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
