do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
