my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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