This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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