I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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