Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
