I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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