ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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