There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
