I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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