these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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