Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
