you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
