He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
