Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
