btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
