I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
