Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
A bitchslap is in order.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize