Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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