I wish I could teleport
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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