ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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