I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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