Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
