Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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