I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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