there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
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I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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