I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
