a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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