Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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