Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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