If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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