Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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