How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
