I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
