Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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