I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
