I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
