Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
