State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
