in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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